How to Keep Peace with Your Husband’s Ex

Tips for navigating a difficult situation for the good of the family

A faulty gadget could easily be fixed but a broken relationship is quite a difficult one to fix. Whatever reason that led to a divorce couldn’t have been a flimsy one, if it were so, it could have been very easy to resolve. Real life situations could entail that you may find yourself in a position of getting married to someone who had been divorced.

Truly, accepting to tie knots with someone demands accepting everything about the person both past, present and future. One of these could be, accepting the fact that your husband actually has an ex who might keep coming back to stage a drama. It only takes discipline to hold back abusive words when your husband’s ex comes looking for trouble.

It is very important to note that, trying to manage a situation by not engaging in a fight either verbally or physically does not show you are weak but it means you want that which is greater, and that is peace. Having a mouth doesn’t give us the right to say everything we think, but having a brain gives us the obligation to think about everything we say.

To get along with your husband’s ex, it is suggested that you reflect on the following points.

  • Respect: most times issues result when either your husband or his ex has a problem fulfilling their part in providing and caring for the children they both had before you got married to your husband but if there is cordiality and respect, you will have less to worry about. So let your spouse fulfill his moral obligations toward his previous family.
  • Empathy: it is normal for your husband’s ex to see you as an intruder. You can’t do anything to make her change her mind. What you can do is to help her see and feel that you are not the enemy, that you didn’t steal her man away.
  • Cordiality: you do not have to be best friends with her but you both can work something out, have a relationship of mutual support, where both feel at ease. It sounds strange but it is possible to have a respectful, cordial relationship.
  • Love for children: every child deserves to be loved, treat her children well and never make any difference between hers and yours or else you would unleash the tigress in her.
  • Prudence: mind your business whenever she is having a disagreement with your husband. Her personal problems should not affect your relationship with your dear husband.
  • Do not criticize her in front of her children because that will surely hurt and make them lose their respect for you.
  • Do not go about digging her past to spite her.

Finally, your husband’s ex deserves her place as your husband’s first wife and as the mother of his children. Respect that, stay on your lane and surely, there will be no troubles.

Summarized by Theresa Frances

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“Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you.” Saint Augustine of Hippo

Disclaimer: Prayer is not magic. God indeed answers prayers but sometimes His answer is either No or Not Now. Don't be discouraged when your prayers are not met immediately or even later. Keep trusting God who is good all the time. Thank you.

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