Did You Know You’re Not Supposed to Say These Things to Your Priest?

Catholic priests are often seen as a guiding force, trusted advisors who help navigate the journey of faith. But like anyone, there are certain things you should avoid saying to a priest for the sake of clarity, respect, and theological correctness. This article aims to shed light on some of the most common misconceptions and errors that people inadvertently make when communicating with their priest. The guidance provided here is grounded in the teachings of the Catechism of the Catholic Church and Scripture.

Priests Are Not “Magic Problem Solvers”

Not a Magical Solution for Everything

Some people approach priests as if they are “magic problem solvers,” expecting an instant solution for all of life’s troubles. It’s important to remember that priests are human beings guided by faith and wisdom, not magical beings with all the answers. According to the Catechism, priests are configured to Christ through Holy Orders to teach, sanctify, and shepherd the Christian faithful (CCC 1592). However, this doesn’t make them magicians or counselors trained in mental health.

The Sacrament of Reconciliation Isn’t a Quick Fix

The Sacrament of Reconciliation is a beautiful act of divine mercy. While forgiveness comes from God, it should not be seen as a “quick fix” to eliminate all of one’s problems. The Catechism states that “interior repentance is a radical reorientation of our whole life” (CCC 1431). This means that Confession is a start, a cornerstone for building a life in alignment with God’s will, rather than an end to all issues.

Don’t Assume They’re Experts in Every Subject

Not Every Priest is a Theologian

While it’s true that priests have undergone extensive training, including theological studies, it’s incorrect to assume that they’re experts in every theological debate or controversy. Theology is a broad field with numerous sub-disciplines, and not all priests specialize in academic theology.

Personal Opinions and Universal Teachings

When asking a priest for guidance, be cautious about distinguishing between what is a universal teaching of the Church and what might be a personal or theological opinion. While the Catechism and Scripture guide priests, they may also have personal insights that are not universally applicable. The Catechism explicitly states that it aims to provide “a sure norm for teaching the faith” (CCC 11). If what the priest says diverges from established teachings, consider seeking additional guidance.

“You Don’t Understand Because You’re Celibate”

The Value of Celibacy

A commonly held misconception is that celibate priests can’t understand or offer advice on marriage or family life. This overlooks the fact that celibacy is a choice made to devote one’s life to serving God and the community. The Catechism states that celibacy is a “sign of new life” (CCC 1579). A priest’s advice on matters like marriage is often based on a deep understanding of human relationships framed within the context of faith.

Experience through the Lives of the Faithful

Priests gain extensive experience by participating in the lives of their parishioners, often counseling couples or families and observing human interaction in a myriad of situations. Their celibacy does not disqualify them from understanding human emotions and complexities.

Saying Confession is “Unnecessary” Because You Pray Directly to God

The Importance of Confession

Some people believe that there’s no need for the Sacrament of Reconciliation because they can “simply pray directly to God for forgiveness.” While God’s mercy is ever-present, the Church teaches the importance of Confession. Jesus himself said to his apostles, “Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained” (John 20:23). This underscores the role of the priest in administering the Sacraments.

The Community Aspect

The act of Confession is also a communal act, not just a personal one. The Catechism points out that sin damages not just the sinner but the entire community (CCC 1440). Confessing before a priest represents the acknowledgment of that communal dimension.

“I Don’t Need to Go to Mass, God Understands”

The Sunday Obligation

The obligation to attend Sunday Mass is not just a “rule,” but a reflection of the importance of communal worship. The Catechism states, “The Sunday Eucharist is the foundation and confirmation of all Christian practice” (CCC 2181). Saying you don’t need to go to Mass undermines this foundational teaching and suggests a personal interpretation of faith that diverges from Church teaching.

Mass as a Source of Grace

At Mass, the faithful participate in the Eucharist, which the Catechism describes as the “source and summit of the Christian life” (CCC 1324). To deliberately miss Mass without a serious reason is considered a grave sin according to the Church’s teachings (CCC 2181).


Being aware of these considerations doesn’t mean walking on eggshells around your priest. Rather, it promotes a respectful and theologically sound dialogue. Priests are human beings, ordained to guide us in our faith journey. As faithful Catholics, it’s our responsibility to engage in conversations that are respectful, informed, and consistent with the teachings of the Church.

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Note: While content aims to align with Catholic teachings, any inconsistencies or errors are unintended. For precise understanding, always refer to authoritative sources like the Catechism of the Catholic Church. Always double-check any quotes for word-for-word accuracy with the Bible or the Catechism of the Catholic Church.

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