Is a Transactional Union True Marriage According to the Catholic Church?

Brief Overview

• The Catholic Church teaches that true marriage requires free consent between two people who intend to commit to each other for life, not just to exchange goods or benefits.
• A transactional union, where two people marry primarily to gain something material or social from each other, lacks the essential element of authentic self-giving that makes a marriage valid.
• While a transactional marriage may appear to be a legal contract on paper, it is not a true sacramental marriage in the eyes of the Catholic faith.
• The Church recognizes that people have different reasons for marrying, but a marriage built only on exchanging benefits rather than on mutual love and commitment is fundamentally flawed.
• Catholic teaching distinguishes between a valid marriage and a marriage that fails to meet the spiritual and moral standards that the Church upholds as central to the sacrament.
• Understanding this distinction helps Catholics recognize what true marriage should be and how it differs from arrangements that merely look like marriage on the surface.

What Makes a Marriage Valid in the Catholic Church

For a marriage to be valid in the Catholic Church, certain basic conditions must be present. The Church teaches that both people must freely choose to marry each other without pressure or force from anyone else. Neither person can be coerced, threatened, or manipulated into saying yes at the altar. This free consent is so important that if even one person is being forced, the marriage is not valid, even if all the other conditions are met. The couple must also meet before a authorized minister, usually a priest or deacon, and two witnesses. This requirement protects the couple and ensures that the Church has a record of the marriage. The couple must not have any impediments that would prevent them from marrying, such as being too young, being too closely related, or already being married to someone else. If either person is younger than sixteen, the marriage is invalid in the Catholic Church. If two people are too closely related by blood or by law, they cannot marry unless they receive a special permission called a dispensation. If either person is already validly married to someone else, they cannot marry anyone else without first getting an annulment of the first marriage.

Beyond these formal requirements, the Church teaches that the couple must have the right intention when they marry. This means they must intend to marry each other, not someone else, and they must intend to enter into a real marriage, not just a business deal or a temporary arrangement. The couple must also intend to be faithful to each other and to accept children if they come. If someone enters into what looks like a marriage while secretly planning to leave in a few years, or while intending to be unfaithful, their intention is flawed. If someone refuses to accept that children might result from the marriage, their intention is also defective. The Church recognizes that not every couple will have children, and infertility does not make a marriage invalid. However, deliberately refusing to accept the possibility of children does undermine the validity of the marriage. A couple must approach marriage with the understanding that it is a permanent bond, not something to be abandoned when it becomes inconvenient.

The Church also teaches that marriage must be entered into for the sake of the marriage itself, not primarily for other reasons like money, citizenship, or social status. This does not mean that practical considerations are wrong or that money should play no role in marriage decisions. Many people reasonably consider whether a potential spouse has a stable job or can help support a family. The problem arises when these practical matters become the only reason for getting married. When two people marry solely because one wants wealth and the other wants a virgin, or because one wants citizenship and the other wants money, the marriage lacks the essential quality of mutual self-giving. In these cases, each person is treating the other as a means to an end, as a tool to get what they want. They are not saying yes to each other as full human beings; they are saying yes to what the other person can provide. This is fundamentally different from true marriage.

The Difference Between Contract and Sacrament

Many people think of marriage as mainly a legal contract, something that a government creates and that a court can end. In modern secular society, marriage is indeed treated as a contract that can be entered into and dissolved by the state. However, the Catholic Church teaches that marriage is much more than a contract. When two baptized Catholics marry, they enter into a sacrament, which is a sacred sign that shows and gives grace. A sacrament is not primarily a legal arrangement; it is a spiritual reality that changes the couple and creates a bond that the state did not create and that the state cannot undo. The couple themselves are the ministers of the sacrament, meaning that it is their consent and their commitment that creates the sacramental bond.

A contract is an agreement where two parties promise to do certain things in exchange for certain benefits. Contracts can be broken, renegotiated, or ended when both parties agree or when one party fails to fulfill their obligations. Many contracts are temporary; they are meant to last only for a set period of time. People can be motivated to enter into contracts for purely selfish reasons, and as long as both parties agree to the terms, the contract is valid. A marriage that is only a contract would work the same way. Two people could agree that one will provide money in exchange for the other providing certain benefits, and once both have received what they bargained for, the arrangement could end. There would be no reason to stay together.

A sacrament, by contrast, is not just an agreement about what each person will do for the other. A sacrament is a real meeting with God’s grace, and it creates a real change in the people involved. The two people who marry do not just make promises; they make a covenant, which is a sacred bond that unites them. This covenant is meant to last for life, not just until both people have gotten what they want. A sacramental marriage is not meant to be dissolved or renegotiated based on whether both parties are still happy with the deal. The Church teaches that what God has joined together, no one should separate. This does not mean that the practical aspects of a marriage do not matter or that money and comfort are not important. Rather, it means that in a true marriage, these things serve the relationship, but they do not form the basis of the relationship.

The Problem With Transactional Marriages

A transactional marriage is one where the primary motivation for marrying is to exchange specific benefits. One person might marry in order to gain wealth, citizenship, social status, or physical benefits. The other person might marry in order to gain virginity, youth, attractiveness, or some other quality they value. Each person is marrying the other not because they love that person as a complete human being, but because they want what that person can give them. In a transactional marriage, each person views the other as a means to an end, not as an end in themselves. This violates a basic principle of human dignity, which teaches that every person has value in themselves and should not be treated merely as a tool for getting what someone else wants.

When a marriage is transactional, it is built on a foundation of mutual use rather than on mutual love and commitment. The couple may follow all the outward forms of marriage. They may have a wedding ceremony in a church with a priest and witnesses. They may sign the legal documents. They may live together and have children. From the outside, the marriage may look real and valid. However, if the couple got married only to exchange specific benefits, and if they agreed implicitly or explicitly that once each person received what they wanted the marriage would end, then something essential is missing. That missing thing is the intention to marry each other for life as complete persons. Instead, the couple has made a deal, like buying and selling goods in a market. They have treated each other as commodities rather than as people.

The Church teaches that this kind of transactional union raises serious questions about whether a true marriage ever took place. If a couple married with the secret intention that they would leave each other once they received what they bargained for, they may not have had the proper intention required for a valid marriage. Intention matters greatly in the Catholic understanding of marriage. If someone says the words of marriage but is secretly planning to abandon the marriage once they get what they want, their intention is false. The marriage may be valid if the necessary external conditions are met, but it is a marriage that lacks the spiritual reality that should accompany it. The couple would be living a lie, pretending to be married while secretly knowing that they made a deal rather than a commitment.

How Transactional Marriages Harm the People Involved

When two people enter into a transactional marriage, they harm themselves and each other in several ways. First, they fail to experience real intimacy and connection. True marriage allows two people to know each other deeply, to be vulnerable with each other, and to support each other through the difficulties of life. In a transactional marriage, each person is keeping part of themselves hidden because they are thinking mainly about what they will get out of the arrangement. They cannot be fully honest with each other because their primary goal is to benefit themselves, not to serve each other or to build a genuine relationship. This means that even if the marriage lasts for many years, the couple will never know what it means to truly be known and accepted by another person.

Second, transactional marriages often result in resentment and anger. Once each person has received what they bargained for, they may begin to feel trapped or disappointed. The person who married for wealth might realize that money does not bring happiness and that having a rich spouse does not solve all of life’s problems. The person who married for virginity or attractiveness might realize that these things change over time and that a sexual relationship is not the same as a real marriage. Both people may begin to resent each other because they feel they have not received the full benefits they expected, or because they have given more than they wanted to give. This resentment can turn into bitterness, anger, and a desire to leave the marriage.

Third, transactional marriages deny the couple the grace and support that God wants to give them through the sacrament of marriage. When a couple approaches marriage with genuine love and commitment, they open themselves to God’s grace working in their relationship. The sacrament gives them strength to face difficulties together, to forgive each other, and to grow spiritually as a couple. A transactional couple, by contrast, is not open to this grace because they have not approached the sacrament with the right intentions. They are trying to use marriage for their own purposes rather than allowing the sacrament to transform them and bring them closer to God. As a result, they miss out on the spiritual benefits that marriage can offer.

Fourth, transactional marriages often harm any children that result from them. Children need to be raised in an environment of real love and commitment between their parents. When children grow up in a marriage that is only a business deal between two people, the children sense the lack of real connection. They may internalize the message that love is not real, that relationships are only about exchanging benefits, and that commitment means nothing. This can damage how children approach relationships and marriage in their own lives. If the transactional marriage eventually ends, as many do, the children suffer the pain of their parents’ separation while also carrying the lesson that marriage is not meant to be permanent.

Catholic Teaching on the Permanence of Marriage

The Catholic Church teaches that marriage is permanent and cannot be dissolved. This teaching comes from the words of Jesus himself in the Gospels. Jesus said that what God has joined together, no one should separate. In Matthew 19, Jesus taught that a man and a woman become one flesh in marriage and that this bond cannot be broken except by death. The Church understands this to mean that a valid marriage between two baptized people lasts for life, even if the couple separates or gets divorced in the eyes of the state. The state can declare a marriage ended for legal purposes, but the Church teaches that the sacramental bond remains until the death of one of the spouses.

This teaching on permanence is one of the main reasons why the Catholic Church has a serious problem with transactional marriages. If a couple married only to exchange benefits, they would naturally expect the marriage to end once both parties received what they wanted. This expectation directly contradicts the Catholic understanding of marriage as permanent. A couple that approaches marriage as a temporary arrangement has not truly accepted marriage as the Church teaches it. They may say the words that are required for marriage, but they have not given their full selves to each other in the way that marriage requires. They have not said yes to a lifelong commitment; they have said yes to a business deal with an expiration date.

The permanence of marriage is not just a rule that the Church has made up. Rather, it flows from the nature of marriage itself. When two people marry, they are not just making a promise to be nice to each other for a while. They are committing to build a life together, to know each other more deeply over time, and to support each other through all the seasons of life. This kind of deep commitment takes time to develop. A couple that has been married for five years knows each other better than a couple that has been married for one year. A couple that has been married for fifty years has a bond that cannot be compared to a newer marriage. If a couple got married with the intention to leave after a few years, they would never have the chance to experience this deep bond. They would be cutting off a real marriage before it had a chance to develop.

Distinguishing Real Love From Selfish Interest

The Catholic Church teaches that true love is fundamentally different from selfish interest. Love means wanting good for the other person for their own sake, not because of what they can give you. A person who truly loves another person wants that person to be happy, healthy, holy, and fulfilled, even if getting that person those things requires sacrifice. A person who is motivated by selfish interest wants mainly to get benefits for themselves. They care about the other person only as a means to their own happiness. These two motivations are opposite, and they produce very different kinds of relationships.

In a transactional marriage, at least one person, and often both, is motivated by selfish interest rather than by love. One person marries because they want wealth, and they do not really care whether their spouse is happy or fulfilled as long as they keep getting money. The other person marries because they want virginity or attractiveness, and they do not really care whether their spouse is growing as a person or becoming holier as long as the spouse maintains the qualities they wanted. Neither person is asking, “How can I help my spouse become the best version of themselves?” Instead, each person is asking, “How can I make sure I keep getting what I want?” This is not love; it is a business arrangement.

The Catholic tradition teaches about different kinds of love, using Greek words to distinguish them. Eros is romantic love, the attraction between a man and a woman. Philia is friendship love, the care that friends have for each other. Agape is divine love, the selfless love that God has for all creation and that Christians are called to have for each other. A healthy marriage should include all three kinds of love. Eros draws the couple together and makes them want to be physically close. Philia creates friendship and trust between them. Agape makes them willing to sacrifice for each other’s good, even when it is difficult. A transactional marriage may have some eros, since physical attraction might be part of what the couple bargained for. But it lacks philia because the couple are not real friends; they are business partners. And it lacks agape because neither person is willing to sacrifice for the other’s good; each person is only willing to take what they are owed.

What the Catechism Says About Marriage

The Catechism of the Catholic Church explains that marriage is a covenant, not just a contract. A covenant is a sacred bond that unites two people before God. The Catechism teaches that the consent of the couple creates marriage, and this consent must be a free choice to give themselves to each other completely. The word “completely” is important here. It means that in marriage, a person gives their whole self to the other person, not just parts of themselves or benefits that they can offer. A person who marries only to get wealth is not giving their whole self; they are only offering the parts of themselves that the other person wants. This incomplete self-gift is not the same as the complete self-gift that marriage requires (CCC 1639).

The Catechism also teaches that the couple must intend to marry each other for life. A couple that intends to stay together only as long as both are happy with the deal has not accepted the permanence of marriage. They have not truly consented to marriage in the way that the Church requires. The Catechism states that the couple must intend to accept children if they come, which means they cannot refuse to accept the natural results of marital relations. Additionally, the couple must intend to maintain fidelity to each other; they cannot marry with the plan to be unfaithful. All of these intentions go to the heart of whether a couple truly consents to marriage (CCC 1626).

The Catechism further teaches that marriage is ordered toward the good of the spouses and toward the procreation and education of children. This means that marriage has purposes that go beyond what the couple decided they wanted to get out of it. Marriage is not a tool for getting rich or for achieving certain physical goals. Rather, marriage is a state of life in which two people help each other to grow in virtue and holiness, and in which they care for any children that God blesses them with. A couple that marries only for transactional reasons is missing the real purposes of marriage. They are using marriage for their own narrow goals rather than opening themselves to what God wants marriage to be (CCC 1643).

The Problem of Hidden Intentions

One of the major issues with transactional marriages is that the couple’s true intentions may not be obvious to anyone else, including the priest or deacon who witnesses the marriage. Someone could stand before a priest and say “I do” while secretly intending to leave the marriage once they receive what they want. The priest would have no way of knowing about this secret intention unless the person confessed it. This raises a difficult question for the Church. If someone secretly married with the wrong intention, is the marriage really valid?

The Catholic Church teaches that if one of the people marrying is secretly intending to exclude or reject something essential about marriage, the marriage may not be valid. For example, if someone is secretly planning to never be faithful to their spouse, or if they are secretly refusing to accept that children might result from sexual relations, then their intention is defective and the marriage may not be valid. Similarly, if someone is secretly intending to leave the marriage once they receive what they bargained for, they may not truly be consenting to marriage as the Church teaches it. They would be committing fraud, making false promises before God and before the Church.

However, proving that someone had a hidden wrong intention is very difficult. The Church usually assumes that when someone goes through the marriage ceremony and says the required words, they have consented to marriage. Only if there is strong evidence that someone’s intention was defective, or only if the person themselves admits that their intention was wrong, can the Church declare that a marriage is invalid. A couple that entered into a transactional marriage might not have any proof that their intentions were wrong unless one of them admits it. They might stay married for many years and appear to have a normal marriage. The truth about their motives might come out only if one of them later tries to get an annulment and admits that they never really intended to be truly married.

How Transactional Marriages Compare to Other Invalid Marriages

There are several reasons why a marriage can be invalid in the Catholic Church. One reason is if either person lacked the mental capacity to understand what marriage is or to make a free choice. A person who was severely intellectually disabled, or who was under the influence of drugs when the marriage took place, might not have had the mental capacity to marry. Another reason is if one person was forced or coerced into the marriage against their will. A person who was threatened or intimidated into saying yes at the altar did not marry freely. A third reason is if one or both of the people were not free to marry, such as if they were already married to someone else or if they were too closely related.

A fourth reason is if the consent that the couple gave was based on a serious error about who they were marrying or about what they were getting into. If someone married the wrong person by mistake, thinking they were marrying someone else, the marriage would be invalid. A fifth reason is if one person gave their consent under a condition, such as if someone said “I will marry you if you stay rich” or “I will marry you if you stay a virgin.” If the condition is something that could change or that the other person might not be able to maintain, then the marriage lacks proper consent. Finally, a marriage can be invalid if one or both people simulated consent, meaning they went through the motions of getting married but secretly never intended to really marry.

A transactional marriage falls into this last category. In a transactional marriage, at least one person, and often both, is simulating consent. They are saying the words of marriage and going through the ceremony, but they are not truly consenting to marry each other. Instead, they are making a deal to exchange benefits. They are not saying yes to a lifelong commitment; they are saying yes to a business arrangement that they expect will end once both parties have received what they want. This is very similar to other cases where a person’s consent is defective or false. The marriage might look valid on the surface, but it lacks the inner reality that makes a marriage truly valid.

The Church’s Approach to Annulments

When a Catholic couple decides that they cannot stay married and wants to end the marriage, they may apply for an annulment. An annulment is a declaration by the Church that a marriage never took place, because one or more of the required elements for a valid marriage was missing. An annulment is not a Catholic divorce; a divorce is a civil legal proceeding that the state handles. An annulment is a religious declaration that the marriage was never valid in the first place. A couple could be divorced by the state but still considered married by the Church if the Church did not grant them an annulment.

The Church takes the process of annulment seriously because marriage is a sacrament and the Church takes sacraments seriously. Before granting an annulment, the Church wants to understand what went wrong in the marriage. The Church investigates whether there was a problem with consent, whether one person lacked the mental capacity to marry, whether one person was forced, whether one person married under a false condition, or whether one or both people never truly intended to be married. If the Church finds that one of these problems existed, then it can declare that no valid marriage ever took place and grant an annulment.

In cases of transactional marriages, an annulment might be possible if one or both people can show that they never truly consented to marriage. They would have to demonstrate that they married mainly to get specific benefits, that they had no intention of staying married for life, or that they were not willing to give themselves completely to each other. This would require them to be honest about their true intentions when they got married, which can be difficult and embarrassing. Many people might not want to admit that they got married for such selfish reasons. However, if they can provide evidence of their false intentions, the Church might grant them an annulment, declaring that no valid marriage ever took place between them.

Living Honestly About What Marriage Means

The Catholic Church calls married couples to live honestly about what they have committed to. If a couple has gotten married, even if they did so for transactional reasons, they are now called to live out a real marriage. They are called to give themselves completely to each other, to be faithful to each other, to accept any children that God might bless them with, and to commit to staying together for life. The fact that they may have started out with wrong motivations does not mean they cannot change and grow into a real marriage over time.

The Church teaches that grace can work in people’s hearts and can heal even relationships that started out broken. A couple that married for transactional reasons might gradually come to know each other better and to develop real love for each other. As they spend time together and face challenges together, they might begin to care about each other’s happiness and well-being for their own sakes, not just for what the other person can provide. They might begin to pray together and to grow spiritually as a couple. Over time, they might transform their transactional marriage into a real marriage that is built on genuine love and commitment.

However, this kind of transformation is not automatic or easy. It requires both people to be willing to change and to open their hearts to grace. It requires them to start thinking about their spouse’s needs and happiness, not just their own. It requires them to forgive each other for the selfishness that brought them together and to commit to building something real. A couple that remains focused on getting benefits from each other and that refuses to change will not experience this transformation. Their marriage will remain empty and hollow, even if it continues for many years. The choice to transform a transactional marriage into a real marriage is up to the couple, and they will need God’s grace to make that choice and to live it out.

Conclusion: True Marriage Requires More Than Meeting Formal Requirements

In conclusion, a transactional union is not a true marriage according to the Catholic Church, even if it meets all the external requirements and looks like a marriage on the surface. A true marriage requires that both people freely consent to give themselves completely to each other for life. In a transactional marriage, at least one person, and often both, is consenting to something else. They are consenting to a business deal, an exchange of benefits, a way to get what they want. This is not the same as consenting to a real marriage. The couple may have had a wedding ceremony with a priest and witnesses. They may have signed legal documents. They may live together and have children. From the outside, their marriage may look identical to a real marriage. But if their true intention was to exchange benefits and then part ways, something essential is missing.

The Catholic teaching on marriage comes from the understanding that marriage is a sacrament, a sacred bond that unites two people before God and that is meant to last for life. Marriage is not just a contract that two people can make and break as they please. Marriage is a covenant, a deep spiritual reality that transforms the people involved and opens them to God’s grace. A couple that approaches marriage as only a business deal is refusing to accept what marriage really is. They are trying to use the form of marriage while rejecting its substance. The Church calls such unions into question and recognizes that they lack the real validity of a true marriage.

This does not mean that the Church is judging the people involved or saying that they are bad people. People enter into transactional marriages for many reasons, often because they have not learned what true love is or what real marriage should be. The Church recognizes the brokenness and confusion that can lead people to approach marriage this way. However, the Church also calls people to something better. The Church calls people to real love, to genuine commitment, and to the grace that comes from the sacrament of marriage when it is approached with right intentions. A transactional union may look like marriage, but it is not true marriage according to the Catholic Church. True marriage is something much deeper and much more beautiful.