What Is the Catholic Perspective on eHarmony’s LGBT-Inclusive Advertisement Controversy?

Brief Overview

• eHarmony, an online dating service, has faced criticism from the conservative Christian group One Million Moms for an advertisement featuring a lesbian couple.
• The ad, part of the “Get Who Gets You: Warm Laundry” campaign, is accused of promoting an LGBTQ agenda, prompting a petition to withdraw it.
• One Million Moms cites Romans 1:26-27 to argue that the ad contradicts biblical teachings and seeks to normalize homosexuality.
• eHarmony’s history includes legal challenges for not initially offering services to same-sex couples, leading to the creation of Compatible Partners in 2009.
• The Catholic Church’s teachings on human sexuality emphasize the complementarity of male and female in marriage, rooted in natural law and scripture.
• This article examines the controversy through a Catholic lens, focusing on Church doctrine, pastoral approaches, and the balance between truth and charity.

Detailed Response

Catholic Teaching on Human Sexuality

The Catholic Church holds a clear and consistent teaching on human sexuality, rooted in scripture, tradition, and natural law. The Church teaches that God created human beings as male and female, with their sexual complementarity designed for the purposes of procreation and mutual love within marriage. This understanding is foundational to the Church’s view of marriage as a sacred institution between one man and one woman. The Catechism of the Catholic Church addresses human sexuality in sections 2331–2400, emphasizing that sexual acts are morally ordered when they occur within the context of marriage and are open to life. Homosexual acts, according to the Church, do not fulfill these purposes and are considered intrinsically disordered, though individuals with same-sex attraction are to be treated with respect and dignity (CCC 2357–2359). The Church bases this stance on biblical passages such as Genesis 1:27–28 and Matthew 19:4–6, which affirm the male-female design of marriage. The controversy over eHarmony’s advertisement, which depicts a lesbian couple in a romantic context, touches on these teachings. One Million Moms’ objection aligns with the Church’s view that homosexual acts are contrary to God’s design. However, the Church also calls for a pastoral approach that avoids unjust discrimination. The advertisement’s portrayal of a same-sex relationship as normative may be seen by Catholics as conflicting with the Church’s understanding of sexuality.

The Role of Scripture in Shaping Catholic Views

Scripture plays a central role in forming the Catholic perspective on sexuality and marriage. One Million Moms cites Romans 1:26–27, which describes homosexual acts as unnatural and contrary to God’s will. The Catholic Church interprets this passage, along with others like Leviticus 18:22 and 1 Corinthians 6:9–10, as affirming that homosexual behavior is sinful, though it distinguishes between the act and the person. The Church teaches that all people are created in God’s image and possess inherent dignity, regardless of their sexual orientation. This distinction is critical in understanding the Catholic response to eHarmony’s ad. The advertisement’s depiction of a same-sex couple in a romantic setting could be interpreted as endorsing behavior that the Church considers morally disordered. However, the Church also cautions against harsh judgment or rejection of individuals, as outlined in CCC 2358, which calls for compassion toward those with homosexual inclinations. The Catholic approach seeks to balance truth with charity, condemning sin while loving the sinner. This balance is often challenging in public discourse, where polarized views, as seen in the backlash from One Million Moms, can overshadow nuanced teaching. Catholics are called to engage with such controversies thoughtfully, guided by scripture and Church teaching.

The Church’s Stance on Marriage and Its Public Witness

The Catholic Church views marriage as a divine institution, established by God and elevated to a sacrament by Christ. This teaching, rooted in Genesis 2:24 and reaffirmed in Ephesians 5:31–32, underscores that marriage is an exclusive, lifelong union between a man and a woman. eHarmony’s advertisement, by portraying a same-sex relationship in a manner similar to heterosexual relationships, may be seen as equating the two, which conflicts with Catholic doctrine. The Church holds that any public portrayal that normalizes same-sex unions risks undermining the unique nature of marriage as a sacred covenant (CCC 1601–1666). One Million Moms’ petition reflects a concern that such media representations influence societal perceptions, particularly among children. From a Catholic perspective, the concern about “family viewing hours” aligns with the Church’s emphasis on protecting the moral formation of the young. However, the Church also encourages Catholics to engage with culture in a way that promotes truth without fostering division. The backlash against eHarmony highlights the tension between upholding doctrinal clarity and maintaining a charitable approach to dialogue. Catholics are called to witness to the truth about marriage while avoiding rhetoric that dehumanizes others. This dual responsibility shapes how the Church might respond to such controversies.

eHarmony’s History and the Catholic Context

eHarmony’s history provides context for understanding the current controversy. Founded in 2000 by Dr. Neil Clark Warren, an Evangelical Christian, eHarmony initially focused on heterosexual matches, reflecting its ties to conservative Christian values. The 2007 lawsuit filed by Linda Carlson accused eHarmony of discrimination for excluding same-sex couples, leading to the creation of Compatible Partners in 2009. This shift marked a move toward inclusivity, which some Christians, including Catholics, might view as a departure from biblical principles. The Catholic Church, while not directly involved in the lawsuit, would likely see the initial exclusion as consistent with its teachings on marriage, though it would also caution against unjust discrimination (CCC 2358). The subsequent inclusion of same-sex couples, as seen in eHarmony’s recent advertisements, aligns with broader cultural shifts but conflicts with Catholic doctrine. The Church’s teaching on marriage does not change based on societal trends, as it is grounded in divine revelation. The controversy over the “Warm Laundry” ad reflects a broader cultural debate about the definition of love and relationships. Catholics are called to navigate this debate by affirming the truth of marriage while engaging respectfully with those who hold differing views. eHarmony’s evolution illustrates the challenges faced by businesses operating in a pluralistic society.

The Role of Media in Shaping Moral Perceptions

Media, including advertisements like eHarmony’s, plays a significant role in shaping societal attitudes. The Catholic Church recognizes the power of media to influence moral and cultural norms, as addressed in the Vatican document Inter Mirifica (1963). The Church encourages media to promote values consistent with human dignity and the common good. eHarmony’s ad, by presenting a same-sex couple in a domestic setting, seeks to normalize same-sex relationships, which One Million Moms argues contradicts biblical values. From a Catholic perspective, this normalization can obscure the Church’s teaching that sexual acts are reserved for marriage between a man and a woman (CCC 2360–2363). The concern about the ad airing during “family viewing hours” reflects a broader Catholic principle of safeguarding children’s moral development. The Church teaches that parents have a primary role in educating their children in faith and morals (CCC 2221–2231). An advertisement that portrays same-sex relationships as equivalent to heterosexual marriage may complicate this task for Catholic parents. However, the Church also calls for dialogue with media producers to promote content that respects truth and dignity. Catholics might approach this controversy by advocating for media that reflects their values while engaging charitably with differing perspectives.

Balancing Truth and Charity in Public Discourse

The Catholic Church emphasizes the importance of balancing truth and charity in addressing controversial issues. The backlash from One Million Moms, while rooted in a defense of biblical principles, risks alienating those it seeks to influence due to its strong language, such as claims of “brainwashing.” The Church, in documents like Gaudium et Spes (1965), encourages Catholics to engage with the world in a spirit of dialogue and respect. This approach is particularly relevant when addressing issues of sexuality, where cultural divisions are pronounced. The Church’s teaching on homosexuality calls for clear proclamation of moral truth alongside compassion for individuals (CCC 2357–2359). eHarmony’s advertisement, by depicting a same-sex couple in a positive light, challenges Catholics to articulate their beliefs without resorting to condemnation. The Church teaches that all people are worthy of respect, regardless of their actions or inclinations. Catholics might respond to the ad by affirming the dignity of all individuals while explaining why same-sex unions do not align with God’s design for marriage. This balance requires careful language and a commitment to understanding others’ perspectives. The controversy offers an opportunity for Catholics to model charitable dialogue in a polarized world.

The Church’s Pastoral Approach to Homosexuality

The Catholic Church’s pastoral approach to homosexuality seeks to uphold doctrine while offering support to individuals. The Catechism teaches that those with homosexual inclinations should be accepted with respect and sensitivity (CCC 2358). This teaching is particularly relevant in the context of eHarmony’s advertisement, which portrays a same-sex couple in a way that emphasizes love and companionship. While the Church would not endorse the relationship depicted, it would call for compassion toward the individuals involved. Pastoral care involves helping people live chastely, regardless of their sexual orientation, as all are called to holiness (CCC 2348–2350). The backlash from One Million Moms, with its focus on the ad’s moral implications, may overlook the need for pastoral sensitivity. Catholics are encouraged to accompany individuals with same-sex attraction through prayer, community, and guidance, as outlined in the 1986 document On the Pastoral Care of Homosexual Persons. This document emphasizes that homosexual persons are called to fulfill God’s will through chastity. The eHarmony controversy highlights the challenge of communicating this teaching in a culture that equates love with sexual expression. Catholics can respond by promoting a holistic view of love rooted in self-giving and sacrifice.

The Influence of Cultural Shifts on Catholic Witness

The eHarmony controversy reflects broader cultural shifts toward acceptance of same-sex relationships. The Catholic Church, while unwavering in its teachings, operates in a world where these shifts influence public perception. The Church’s mission is to proclaim the Gospel in every cultural context, as articulated in Evangelii Gaudium (2013). eHarmony’s move toward inclusivity, including its “Warm Laundry” campaign, aligns with societal trends but diverges from Catholic teaching on marriage. The Church must navigate this tension by clearly articulating its beliefs while engaging with a pluralistic society. The backlash from One Million Moms illustrates the difficulty of maintaining a Christian witness in a culture that increasingly views traditional teachings as outdated. Catholics are called to present the Church’s teachings with clarity and humility, avoiding both compromise and confrontation. The Catechism emphasizes that truth must be proposed with charity (CCC 25). The eHarmony ad provides an opportunity for Catholics to explain their beliefs about marriage and sexuality in a way that invites dialogue. This approach can help bridge the gap between the Church and a culture with differing values.

The Role of Lawsuits in Shaping eHarmony’s Policies

The 2007 and 2008 lawsuits against eHarmony were pivotal in shaping its approach to inclusivity. The lawsuits, which accused eHarmony of discrimination for not offering same-sex matching services, resulted in the creation of Compatible Partners. This legal pressure reflects a broader societal push for equal treatment across sexual orientations. From a Catholic perspective, these lawsuits raise questions about religious freedom and the ability of faith-based organizations to operate according to their beliefs. The Church teaches that religious liberty is a fundamental right (CCC 2106–2109), but it also acknowledges the need for just laws that respect human dignity. eHarmony’s decision to offer same-sex services may be seen as a response to legal and cultural pressures rather than a rejection of its Christian roots. The Catholic Church would likely view the initial exclusion of same-sex couples as consistent with its teachings, though it would caution against discriminatory attitudes. The subsequent inclusion, as reflected in the “Warm Laundry” ad, highlights the tension between religious convictions and societal expectations. Catholics can learn from this case the importance of advocating for their beliefs while respecting the rights of others. The controversy underscores the need for legal frameworks that balance competing rights.

The Catholic Response to Corporate Inclusivity

eHarmony’s shift toward inclusivity, as seen in its advertisements, reflects a broader trend among corporations to align with progressive values. The Catholic Church engages with such trends by evaluating them through the lens of faith and reason. The Church teaches that businesses have a responsibility to promote the common good, which includes respecting human dignity (CCC 2419–2425). However, the Church also holds that promoting behaviors contrary to natural law, such as same-sex unions, does not serve the common good. The eHarmony ad, by portraying a same-sex couple positively, may be seen as endorsing a view of relationships that conflicts with Catholic teaching. One Million Moms’ petition reflects a concern that corporate actions influence societal norms, particularly among impressionable audiences. Catholics might respond by encouraging businesses to respect diverse viewpoints while remaining true to their mission. The Church’s social teaching emphasizes the importance of dialogue between faith communities and secular institutions. In this case, Catholics could advocate for media that reflects the truth about human sexuality while fostering respectful engagement with those who hold differing views. The controversy highlights the role of corporations in shaping cultural values and the Church’s call to engage constructively.

The Importance of Parental Responsibility

One Million Moms’ concern about the eHarmony ad airing during “family viewing hours” underscores the Catholic emphasis on parental responsibility. The Church teaches that parents are the primary educators of their children in matters of faith and morals (CCC 2221–2231). Advertisements like eHarmony’s, which depict same-sex relationships as normative, may challenge parents in explaining Catholic teachings to their children. The Church encourages parents to foster a home environment where faith is lived and discussed openly. This includes addressing difficult topics like sexuality with age-appropriate clarity and charity. The eHarmony controversy provides an opportunity for parents to teach children about the Church’s understanding of marriage and the dignity of all persons. The Catechism emphasizes that education in virtue is essential for moral development (CCC 1784). Parents can use media, even controversial ads, as teaching moments to explain why the Church holds certain beliefs. The backlash from One Million Moms, while rooted in a desire to protect children, may benefit from a more nuanced approach that emphasizes formation over censorship. Catholics are called to guide their children in navigating a complex cultural landscape with faith and discernment.

The Church’s Engagement with Pluralism

The eHarmony controversy highlights the challenges of living out Catholic faith in a pluralistic society. The Church acknowledges the reality of diverse beliefs and values, as discussed in Dignitatis Humanae (1965). While upholding the truth of its teachings, the Church encourages Catholics to engage respectfully with those who hold differing views. eHarmony’s advertisement, by promoting a same-sex relationship, reflects a cultural perspective that differs from Catholic doctrine. The Church would not endorse the relationship depicted but would call for dialogue with those involved in creating or supporting the ad. One Million Moms’ petition, while expressing a valid concern about moral influence, risks escalating division through its language. The Church teaches that Catholics should propose their beliefs with clarity and humility, avoiding confrontational rhetoric (CCC 25). The controversy offers a chance for Catholics to model respectful engagement while defending the truth about marriage. This approach requires understanding the cultural context in which such ads are produced. By engaging thoughtfully, Catholics can contribute to a society that respects both truth and human dignity.

The Broader Implications for Evangelization

The eHarmony controversy has implications for Catholic evangelization. The Church’s mission is to proclaim the Gospel to all people, as mandated in Matthew 28:19–20. Advertisements like eHarmony’s, which reflect cultural acceptance of same-sex relationships, challenge Catholics to articulate their faith in a compelling way. The Church teaches that evangelization involves both proclaiming truth and demonstrating love (CCC 905). The backlash from One Million Moms, while rooted in a desire to uphold biblical values, may not effectively communicate the Gospel to a broader audience. Catholics are called to present their beliefs in a way that invites others to consider the beauty of Church teaching. The eHarmony ad provides an opportunity to discuss the Catholic vision of love, marriage, and human dignity. This requires addressing cultural perceptions of love while pointing to the deeper reality of God’s design. The Church’s teachings on sexuality are not merely rules but an invitation to live in accordance with truth. Catholics can use this controversy to share their faith with clarity and compassion, fostering dialogue in a divided world.

The Role of Conscience in Media Consumption

The Catholic Church emphasizes the role of conscience in guiding moral decisions, including media consumption. The Catechism teaches that conscience is the interior voice by which individuals discern right from wrong (CCC 1776–1802). The eHarmony advertisement, by depicting a same-sex couple, may prompt Catholics to reflect on how they engage with media that conflicts with Church teaching. One Million Moms’ petition reflects a concern that such media influences moral perceptions, particularly among children. Catholics are called to form their consciences through prayer, scripture, and Church teaching. This includes evaluating whether certain media aligns with their values or undermines their faith. The Church encourages discernment in choosing media that promotes truth and goodness. In the case of eHarmony’s ad, Catholics might choose to avoid content that normalizes behaviors contrary to their beliefs while still engaging charitably with others. This discernment extends to discussing controversial media with family and friends. The controversy underscores the importance of a well-formed conscience in navigating cultural challenges.

The Church’s Call to Dialogue

The Catholic Church places a high value on dialogue as a means of engaging with the world. The eHarmony controversy, with its polarized responses, highlights the need for dialogue rooted in truth and charity. The Church teaches that dialogue involves listening to others while clearly presenting one’s beliefs (CCC 856). One Million Moms’ petition, while expressing a legitimate concern, uses language that may hinder constructive conversation. The Church would encourage Catholics to approach the controversy by affirming the dignity of all persons while explaining the Church’s teachings on marriage and sexuality. eHarmony’s ad, by presenting a same-sex relationship positively, invites Catholics to articulate their beliefs in a way that is respectful and persuasive. The Catechism emphasizes that truth must be shared with love (CCC 25). Dialogue in this context might involve engaging with media producers, advertisers, or even friends and family about the Catholic vision of love. The controversy provides an opportunity to build bridges rather than walls. Catholics can contribute to a culture of mutual respect by modeling this approach.

The Historical Context of Catholic Teaching on Sexuality

The Catholic Church’s teachings on sexuality have developed over centuries, rooted in scripture, tradition, and reason. From the early Church fathers to modern magisterial documents, the Church has consistently taught that sexual acts are reserved for marriage between a man and a woman. This teaching is grounded in Genesis 1:27–28, which establishes the complementarity of male and female. The eHarmony advertisement, by depicting a same-sex couple in a romantic context, challenges this historical teaching. One Million Moms’ objection reflects a continuity with traditional Christian views on sexuality. However, the Church’s approach has also evolved to emphasize pastoral care for individuals with same-sex attraction, as seen in documents like On the Pastoral Care of Homosexual Persons (1986). This balance between doctrine and compassion is central to the Catholic response to contemporary issues. The controversy over eHarmony’s ad highlights the tension between unchanging truth and a changing cultural landscape. Catholics are called to uphold the Church’s historical teachings while addressing modern challenges with sensitivity. This historical perspective provides a foundation for engaging with the controversy thoughtfully.

The Role of Catholic Social Teaching

Catholic social teaching offers principles for addressing controversies like the one involving eHarmony. The Church teaches that society should promote the common good, respect human dignity, and foster solidarity (CCC 1905–1917). eHarmony’s advertisement, by promoting inclusivity, aligns with societal values of equality but conflicts with the Church’s understanding of marriage. One Million Moms’ petition reflects a concern for the common good, particularly the moral formation of society. However, Catholic social teaching also emphasizes the need to respect the dignity of all persons, including those with differing views or lifestyles. The Church would encourage Catholics to respond to the ad by advocating for media that reflects God’s design for human relationships. This involves engaging with corporations like eHarmony in a way that promotes dialogue rather than division. The Catechism calls for a society that upholds truth while fostering unity (CCC 1910). Catholics can apply these principles by addressing the controversy with clarity and respect. The eHarmony case illustrates the relevance of Catholic social teaching in navigating cultural debates.

The Challenge of Religious Freedom

The eHarmony controversy raises questions about religious freedom in a pluralistic society. The 2007 and 2008 lawsuits against eHarmony highlight the tension between religious convictions and anti-discrimination laws. The Catholic Church teaches that religious freedom is a fundamental right, allowing individuals and institutions to live according to their beliefs (CCC 2106–2109). eHarmony’s initial exclusion of same-sex couples was consistent with its Christian roots, but legal pressures led to a shift in policy. The Church would likely view this shift as a challenge to religious liberty, particularly for faith-based organizations. The “Warm Laundry” ad, by promoting same-sex relationships, further illustrates the cultural shift away from traditional Christian values. Catholics are called to defend their right to uphold Church teaching while respecting the rights of others. The Catechism emphasizes that religious freedom must be balanced with the common good (CCC 2109). The controversy provides an opportunity for Catholics to advocate for policies that protect their beliefs while engaging charitably with society. This balance is essential in addressing similar controversies in the future.

Conclusion: A Catholic Response to the Controversy

The eHarmony advertisement controversy invites Catholics to reflect on their faith in a complex cultural context. The Church’s teachings on marriage and sexuality, rooted in scripture and tradition, provide a clear framework for understanding the issue. While One Million Moms’ petition highlights concerns about normalizing same-sex relationships, the Catholic response should balance truth with charity. The Church calls for respect toward all individuals, regardless of their sexual orientation, while upholding the unique nature of marriage as a union between a man and a woman (CCC 1601–1666). Catholics can engage with this controversy by articulating their beliefs with clarity and compassion, fostering dialogue rather than division. The eHarmony case underscores the challenges of living out Catholic faith in a pluralistic society. By grounding their response in Church teaching, Catholics can witness to the beauty of God’s design for human relationships. This involves addressing media influences, advocating for religious freedom, and supporting parents in their role as educators. The controversy is an opportunity to proclaim the Gospel with love and truth. Catholics are called to approach such issues with discernment, guided by the Church’s wisdom and the call to holiness.